Movie Review

Alright, if you don't already know... I'm a huge movie fan...

As of yesterday, I've got 391 assorted DVDs. Not all movies of course, there's a few TV shows I can't live without, mostly cartoons. Family Guy, Futurama, and Scrubs to name a couple.

And to top it off, I subscribe to that Blockbuster deal like Netflix. The girlfriend and I go through three or five movies a week. Sometimes more, depends.

Well, we just got done watching My Date With Drew.

It's a movie about a regular run of the mill guy who wins $1,100 on a gameshow, and decides to try and get a date with Drew Barrymore, the girl he's had a crush on since he was 10, in 30 days.

He buys a video camera at a Circuit City, and then returns it when he's done, to save money.

It's actually a pretty good movie.

If I were a movie date kinda guy, that would probably be a good date movie.

And I was especially surprised at Drew Barrymore herself, in a world where almost everyone is stuck up, she was very down to Earth. It was impressive.

But it made me think...

Now, I realize this may seem scatterbrained, but stick with me here...

I've had a love affair with radio for a long time. I listen to it constantly, and I love music in general.

I ran an internet radio station for awhile, a few years ago, and we had several different DJs, different shows, everything you would need for a "real" radio station.

The most we ever had was several hundred listeners, not much this day and age, but enough to encourage me...

I've always wanted to work in radio, I'm not positive I've ever wanted to be "on the air" so to speak, but it always seems to be the most fun job in that industry.

Last night I started looking around at local places to see if I could go back to school for this...

Then here comes the kicker, I realized a lot of this would involve speeches and oral things in front of audiences...

And I got scared.

Public speeches were never my strong suit. Still probably aren't.

I avoid them like the plague.

It's like that joke Jerry Seinfeld always talks about...

"The biggest fear in America is public speaking, the second biggest fear is death... So in other words, we'd be better off in the casket, than saying the eulogy."


It's actually exactly like that... I fear the day I'm forced to talk in front of people...

But radio would be something that wouldn't be as hard, I can be as anonymous as I want, and I don't really ever have to talk to someone face to face.

Should be easier, right?


Alright, now here's where the two parts of the story come together...

In the end of the movie, Drew Barrymore says something to the effect that there's tons of people that have dreams, and it's nice to see one that actually kept his dream and did something with it.

And that got me thinking...

Look at yourself?

Are you where you thought you would be when you were younger?

I can tell you straight out...

I'm not.

When I was a kid, I thought I'd be a pilot...

I'm far from it now.

I kinda lost that dream a long time ago, and I don't really know why...

Maybe it was the pressure of responsibility. Or peer pressure. Or some other sort of pressure.

The fact of the matter is, when I was a kid, I was a dreamer.

I was going to be a pilot, and there really wasn't anything else I had ever put my heart or my thoughts into other than that.

Now that I think about it, if the 10 year old me knew the 27 year old me, he'd kick my ass for even talking like that.

I was thinking about this same thing while I was coming home from work today, and sitting in traffic.

Is there anyone out there that became what they thought they would become?

I honestly don't think there is.

And it's not because I'm trying to be an asshole, or be cynical...

It really is because after awhile, we're kind of forced to abandon those dreams and move into the real world.

We've got to make our mortgage payment.

We've got to make that electricity payment.

We've got to do something...

And society sort of forces us to change what our dreams would be.

We pretty much bend to society's will.

Think about it.

Do you think the guy mopping the floors at work thought that at five years old, he was going to do this when he was 40?

I don't think so...

And on the flip side, at twenty years old, do you think the homeless guy knew he was going to be homeless?

I mean, we work so hard every day of our lives for something that seems pretty trivial... But we don't have much of a choice.

So we're back to what I originally was talking about...

When I was a kid, I knew in my heart, what I wanted to be, and I knew how to go about it. And there wasn't much stopping me.

Then, for some reason, as a teenager, I became very rebelious, I was anti-government, screw everyone, screw you, screw this. Let's get drunk and high and have fun.

That, for all intensive purposes, was exactly what I was about...

And then, I hit my 20s.

Sure, 21, 22, 23... Still pretty much the same thing. Lets get drunk, lets screw, lets have fun.

And at 23 it stopped.

Sure it was only 4 years ago, but it seems longer than that...

It seems like it was decades ago.

So now, here I am 27 years old...

I own a house. I own two trucks (one nice, one all about work), I own a boat, I have a girlfriend I'd love and want to marry, and I'm a Caterpillar mechanic.

I should be thankful for everything I've achieved. I've done better than lots of people, and sometimes with not as much...

But I kind of resent it all.

Is it the possessions that make us who we are?

I'd like to believe it's not, but it's kind of hard.

When I was 17, I didn't care about much. Call in sick to work. Not go to school. Big deal.

Now I think... "Wow. I don't feel like going to work. I'm going to call in sick. And then I remember... The boat needs gas. The boat is fun. I want to have fun. The boat needs gas."

And I go to work.

I think, in some way...

That if the 10 year old versions of us knew what we were doing now, we'd all have brusies.





So, that leads me back... Dreams... Should we follow them? Or kinda let them go their own way?

There has to be something to say about growing up.

My old boss, he loved his wife, he loved his kids.

He was married at 18. To his high school sweetheart...

He never questioned that. I asked him why...

He told me: "When I was very young, I always knew I wanted to grow up, get married, and have kids. "

He had three daughters. And that's enough for him, but still.

It was something he wanted to do...

It was him becoming the pilot he always wanted to be.

Now maybe, deep down inside of me, being the person I never thought I would be, is the person I wanted to be.

Which brings me to another point... This is kind of funny... But I like this side of me a lot.

I'm a member of a yacht club in Racine.

Yeah, see, that's funny. For a long time I didn't even own anything that could be considered remotely seaworthy.

Not even a radio controlled boat.

But I am the youngest member to sit as an officer on our yacht club's board.

About 11 years ago, my dad was the Commodore.

Now, the Commodore is like the president of something. He's elected for one year. He runs the joint. Alright?

Now, a lot of people at this club respected me when I started because they loved and respected my dad.

Many times have I heard: "I served under your father, and he was the best Commodore we've ever had."

Many many times.

I passed a lot of it off, until I heard the reasons.

"He was fair."

"He followed the rules."

So fairly early on in my "career" as a board member, I asked dad for advice.

His advice: "If you follow the rules, you'll never be wrong."

So I lived by that.

When someone in a meeting brought something up that was out of order (as meetings follow Robert's Rules of Order) or wasn't in the rules, I loudly proclaimed that.

Then one day, I was sitting at the yacht club, and I realized...

I'm an asshole.

These people are here to speak their minds and do what they feel is right for the betterment of this club, regardless of if it is out of order...

And then I started hearing:

"You followed the rules."

"You did what you thought was right, and it was right."

"I'm amazed you stood up for someone like that, I didn't think you had it in you."

"Some of the things you say, make a lot of sense. I didn't think something like that would come from you."

And it really made me realize how much I have conformed and "laid down for 'The Man'" if you will...

I was the teenager that was anti everything...

And now, I'm the guy following the rules to the letter.

Something about that is not right...






That's it for tonight.

I realize I went off on a tangent, and I never really cleared this up... But that's me. Deal with it.

Well, it's done, now what?

Well, I finally did it.

I made a blog.

I was encouraged by a lot of people on the internet, and I thought about it for some time.

Today at work I convinced myself it would be a good idea.

And I did it.

I took the plunge.

And now, I have nothing to write about.

I knew it would happen.