My Vulnerable Moment

So I took today off of work... I did so for two reasons.

First, we had a big party at the yacht club last night. I knew I was going to drink and not be worth anything at work tomorrow...

But I had another reason...

John Schmidt.

Follow me on this...

The girlfriend went back to St. Louis to visit family before the holidays. She took her puppy with her.

It's just my dog, and myself.

It's a good time to be alone.

John Schmidt. He's about 80 years old. He's been a member of the yacht club for 50 years.

When our yacht club was young, and no one had money, the members litterally built the place with their own hands.

I've got loan papers here from the 60's, it cost them $12,000. It's now worth a million and a half.

This year, I took on more responsibilities at the club, and I kind of did so against my will. But John Schmidt was always there to lend a hand, he was there to show me how to do things, to set me straight when I went off on the wrong path...

He interviewed me to let me join the club...

And he and I had some heart to heart talks, about how the club was going.

He was a down to earth, good guy.

He lived, slept, ate, and breathed that club. He poured his heart out for it, and was always there.

He always helped out, and he is a good friend.

Earlier this year, John got diagnosed with cancer. It was pretty aggressive, but John's a good guy.

He was still out and about... Then he started missing meetings.

He had missed a meeting in 50 years... But this had to be the year he missed something...

It wasn't right.

Then we had a meeting last night, and he wasn't there. Again.

He's in room 265 of the hospital.

And, I don't mean to offend anyone, but when you're that age, and you go into the hospital, it usually isn't good.

So John...

I went to see him.

I hate hospitals. I used to work in one. It sucked. I quit.

I couldn't handle it.

And I stared at John, and I couldn't figure out why I hated hospitals so much...

Then I realized why...

When you're laid up in that bed, you're seeing the person for the first time, really, the first time.

You're vulnerable.

All the **** talking and doing whatever it is you did before, doesn't really mean anything...

It's really hard to be a tough guy and hooked up to a bunch of machines.

John looked good, I barely recognized him.

Hell, I couldn't recognize my own grandmother when she was in the hospital not so long ago.

So a few years ago, when he interviewed me, and decided I'd be a good member to the yacht club he said one thing to me...

His exact words: "Promise me you'll always stay involved."

John loves that club and those people.

He never got paid for the stuff he did. He never got paid for literally building the walls of that club...

But the sense of accomplishment and the people around him, made it all worth it to him.

It's times like this I feel compelled to look into myself, and ask if I could do that.

I don't think I could. I'd make up some excuse why I can't do it, or why I can't finish it. Or something else.

So, I went to the hospital this morning.

I talked with his wife Charlotte.

I talked to John...

A few years ago, when I got voted in by the membership, John stood in front of about 100 members, and introduced me to the room.

I knew most of these people, I had grown up there, I knew John for the past 17 years. Always been a nice guy to me. To everyone, never said anything bad about anyone.

John stood up, introduced me to everyone, and everyone clapped.

We do it for everyone, it's not just me.

Then he did something that meant a lot to me, he handed me a Fifth Street Yacht Club burgee... And said: "Welcome to YOUR club."

He was the first person to do that for me. It made me feel good.

So today, when I was at the hospital. I know it didn't mean too much, but it meant something to me...

I gave him my burgee... I hung it in his room.

The flag that I had flown on my boat all year...

The flag that means a lot to a lot of people...

The flag that I volunteered for this year...

The flag that I volunteered for several years before this...

I know this seems like a weird post...

But at this club, we have lots of people that think they know how the club should be run...

So they bicker. They argue. They do lots of dumb things...

But one thing we all have in common is we love boating... And we all fly that flag on our boats.

We all have our differences... But when we are on the water, with that little yellow triangle on our boat, it doesn't seem to matter so much.

John, I don't think he's going to be around so much anymore.

And frankly... I'm afraid.

It shouldn't be like this...

**** it.




John, you'll never be forgotten.